The impact of bullying, be it in the school, the internet or within the family, has significantly compromised the mental health of children involved in bullying. Experiencing violence and humiliation at a very young age is something genuinely undesirable, but because of bullying, children had to go through the emotional and physical pain that will forever be etched in their minds and will be part of their lives.
It’s entirely normal for a relationship to go through several rough times and it practically happens to a lot of people who are in a long-term commitment. However, it’s a different story when you realize that you are no longer happy and thoroughly committed to the kind of connection you have. It is where you feel the lack of intimacy that somehow drags you down. So how would you know if you’re still into him? Here are some signs that can answer that question.
Face it. People will have a lot to say when you are trying to push your limits and do things on your own. Most of them assume that you can never make it because you don’t have enough guts to work your way to the top. Sadly, these people are often the ones you offer and spend your life with. These individuals judge you, mock you, and break down your spirit. Why? That is because they do not want you to succeed.
Sometimes your best is not often enough to convince people to support you. That is because it is either they can never benefit from your achievements, or they don’t feel like living behind your success. But the truth is, these people only want to be like you but just can’t. They do not want you to succeed because they know you are capable of becoming one. They do not want to see you living your life to the fullest because they want it too. They desire it too much, but they know they are incapable of doing so. With that, you need to understand that “Research shows that how you think about yourself can have a powerful effect on how you feel. Practice using words that promote feelings of self-worth and personal power. Give yourself a positive pep-talk.” That’s according to Dr. Aaron Kaplan, PsyD, Clinical Psychologist.
Most of the time, you hear them complain about their lives. And when you don’t care, they marked you as a selfish, uncaring, and inconsiderate human. But is that your problem? Of course, not. Honestly, you do not have to care about them when they don’t take a minute to appreciate all your efforts towards reaching your goal. It is not your mistake for being motivated in creating something for your future. It is these people’s fault why they are still miserable and unfortunate. “Look at negative thoughts like reruns of a TV show you’ve seen a million times. Let them play in the background while you shift your focus to something else.” Jo Eckler, PsyD suggests.
Cut To The Chase
Your life and success are yours alone. These people who stick around when you are on top are parasites. You need to get them off your system and block their every entrance in your life. Do not feel sorry for their sad lives because they deserve it. They choose not to do anything with their situation, so it is not your obligation to pull them out of the pit. Listen to yourself. Value the things you can do and never allow these people to rip you into pieces.
Your goals are the things that matter. “People with a healthy self-esteem tend to view failure as an event. People with low self-esteem often view failure as fatal. This thought process pummels one’s self-esteem and overtime being a failure becomes their identity.” counselor Monte Drenner said. People might never agree with your ways, but it is not your entire problem. Let them take care of themselves and do not wish for them to get involved with your success. Because if you do that, these ungrateful people will take everything from you until you have nothing left. So instead of trying your best for them, work things out for yourself. Focus on what you can achieve and become more and more successful. Because once you are on top, these people will soon crawl back up. Trust me. These parasites live for their benefits.
Being successful is a choice, and it takes a lot of hard work. When you allow people to pull you down, you will never achieve anything. And even if you think you are capable of doing everything, when you enable these losers to control you, you will fail and will hit the ground ten times harder.
Have you ever wonder why there are people in your life that does not want you anymore? Have you questioned yourself about the type of personality you have that makes people unloving? Is there a significant chance that you understand how your behavior is affecting the way others connect with you. Are you unaware of your words and actions toward others’ feelings and opinions? If you know you are not making any slight offense that others cannot take, then maybe it is not you that is the problem. Perhaps the way you see things is different from the rest. So instead of them accepting you, they leave you because you tend to be distinctive. If you are confident that your personality, behavior, and self-expression are not the cause of why the people around you leave, then perhaps here are the grounds.
You Are Brutally Honest
“Most people have a loud inner critic which makes their life more stressful,” says David Klow, a licensed therapist. In case you haven’t noticed, people do not like it when others tell them the truth. No one wants to hear the truth because they get overwhelmed with lots of lies. That is the problem with people. So when you are brutally honest, people think that your opinions and suggestions are not worthy. You become a type of person with less of a value. Most of your friends, family, co-workers, and schoolmates will think that your honesty is something that rips them the ability to enjoy whatever lies are in front of them. These people believe that regardless of what you are telling them is true, as long as it hurts, it will never mean a thing.
You Refuse To Blend With The Crowd
There is this mentality that when you try to be yourself, you get judged. People do not feel comfortable when someone is not blending in with the majority. That is because a lot of them are afraid to get left behind. “If your intention is to live a meaningful and healthy life, you will make decisions that support this intention, and feel good about yourself when you succeed in this purpose.” Deborah Khoshaba Psy.D. explains. Everyone thinks of reaching the top no matter what. So when someone is nearly there, these losers always have something negative to say. They take all your power and motivation to do things that is self-satisfying because they are not satisfied with what they do in their lives. With that, they convince more morons to hate and discriminate you for being different.
You Love Yourself More Than Anything
What is more mind-boggling with a lot of people is their hate towards individuals who love themselves. They look at these self-loving people as self-centered, biased, and inconsiderate ones. Funny, because these unworthy people who don’t know how to appreciate others tell everyone that loving one’s self is a selfish act. However, they do not realize that self-love is the only thing that can save people from having emotional and mental agony.
Honestly, these people who complain about you being brutally honest, different, and self-loving, are the worst people to have in life. Let them go and let them leave you. Fran Walfish, PsyD says, “When trying to keep a positive attitude, you must avoid people who thrive on negativity.” Do not worry because it is not your fault to be unique. It is their problem for having misperception towards people like you who can stand proud of being exceptional.
It is not always that you understand yourself. It is also not possible that you can convince people to accept you for who you are. It is not usual that you manage the things you want in life without thinking through it. It is not often that you know what you can do and who you want to become. Since there is no guarantee that you can stay consistent with yourself, you might want to consider doing things for future you.
Appreciate Your Self And Love Your Flaws
There is nothing more validating than accepting your imperfections. You are not perfect, and you will never be one. So instead of trying to tell the world how worthy your life is for the things and people around you, live it for yourself. Do not mind those people who see nothing good in you because whatever you do, they will never appreciate you. When you find time to value yourself, your future self will thank you because you will become more passionate. You will become aware of what you can do and what you can become. You will become you. “You’ll love yourself more when you set limits or say no to work, love, or activities that deplete or harm you physically, emotionally and spiritually, or express poorly who you are.” Deborah Khoshaba Psy.D. said.
Listen To What Your Mind And Heart Tell You
Listen to what your heart and mind tell you because your future self needs it. Nothing is satisfying in everyone’s life than to be able to decide for yourself. But be mindful, creating a decision that gets based on mind or heart alone is never going to work. So before you end up making mistakes, you have to make sure that your decisions undergo emotional and mental balance. Do not make decisions without using both. Never judge with what you see, but never misunderstand what you feel.
Take Care Of Yourself
No one is going to care about yourself but you. Yes, some people will care. But they will not make a move to do it because they are not obliged. You have to bring the balance in your life and control the things that require your full attention. Save yourself from anxiety, stress, and depression. Live life the way you want it, provided that you can handle it no matter what. Listen to your mind and body. Take quality care of your emotional, physical, spiritual, and mental health. There is a guarantee that your future you will benefit from your effort. “Prioritizing daily self-care and making efforts to take action. Accepting that daily self-care is hard work and challenging.” Edna M. Esnil, PsyD said.
Never Allow Negativity To Enter Your Life
Regardless of the negative things being family, friends, and significant other, never let them ruin your composure. Your future self will become appreciative towards your effort in keeping yourself calm and with peace. Do not allow guilt to control your decisions, and do not let self-doubt to ruin your state of mind. Always consider choosing what is best for your overall development. Do not complain about things, and look for ways to make it better. “Negative thoughts are just a part of life, but they don’t have to consume you. Instead of trying to ignore those thoughts altogether, try countering them with positive statements.” Licensed clinical psychologist John Mayer, Ph.D. said.
There is no way you can handle the future encounter. However, when you learn to accept the necessity of change, you will see that things in life are much more significant.
Your friends can become one of the most critical persons in your life. They teach you a lot of lessons. They provide value in everything you do, and they become the foundation of your self-improvement decisions. However, not all of them are as beneficial as you thought they would be. Some only want nothing but to take advantage of you. Most of the times, they become the source of your emotional and mental suffering. With that, your ability to know which ones to keep is essential in maintaining your overall health and development. So here are the types of friends you should avoid.
“I take Yours, But You Can’t Take Mine.”
Most types of friendship give and take. When you offer them something, they offer something in return. However, some individuals take so much of your time and energy but are not willing to sacrifice theirs. These people have the mentality that consuming something from you is their primary purpose. But when you are the one who wants something from them, those things become an off-limits. These types of friends are selfish and undeniably self-centered. Erika Martinez, PsyD once said, “You have to get really clear with yourself first about what’s motivating you when you agree to do someone else a favor.”
“I Will Help, But Give Something In Return”
“Your environment, both your social and natural surroundings, can greatly impact how you feel.” Marjie L. Roddick, MA, NCC, LMHC said. It is vital to recognize that friendship is something that requires effort. It is often successful when two parties know their responsibilities to each other. But when your friends are only doing things for you because they benefit from it, you should consider cutting them off. These people will not only take something from you but will also make you feel that you owe them the world. Their attitudes get stuck in the idea that whatever they do for you are something that you should thank them forever.
“I’m Here Because I Need You”
Friends should be there for you when you need them, and not the other way around. When these people stick around because they know they can gain something, they are not the ones you need. These types of friends mostly choose you and follow you because they know you will give them something. But when you happen to ignore their needs and start to refuse to all their demands, they will leave you in an instant.
“It Is Always A No For Me”
Karen R. Koenig, MEd, LCSW used to say, “Nothing ruins self-esteem like surrounding yourself with people who abuse or neglect you.” When you have these types of friends that always say no and does not want to be involved in your life, you should leave them immediately. These ungrateful people will never agree to anything you do or say. These people’s lives are focused on making you feel bad about yourself. They do not support your ideas, and they never appreciate your worth. You have to avoid these types of friends because they are draining, exhausting, and full of shit.
Blogging is one of the best marketing strategies for therapists to bring in new clients, show their expertise, or educate potential clients. Contrary to popular belief, blogging is not that easy. You have to consider several things if you do not want to stain your reputation. Listed below are the top mistakes most bloggers commit when first starting out.
Inability To Post Regular Content
Web traffic does not come out of nowhere. Do not expect an instant influx of readers the moment you establish your new website. The best way to attract more audience is to add blog posts regularly depending on your capability. You may opt to create content once or twice a week, but you have to make sure that you’ll be consistent throughout.
Not Adding Images To The Blog Posts
Studies revealed that images are essential to your write-ups. They capture the eyes of potential readers and entice them to check out your content. It also gives out the message that they are not reading boring content, hence increasing the length of their stay on your website. Lastly, putting pictures increases the number of likes and shares it gets on social media.
Not Using On-Page SEO
Not using search engine optimization (SEO) is most likely the most common mistake therapists commit in their blogs. There are several times that readers see titles like “What You Should Do In Therapy” or “My Thoughts About Mental Health.” Believe it or not, these posts will not rank high enough in the Google search results due to its vagueness.
When drafting your content, make sure to familiarize yourself with the basics of SEO. Experts programmed search engines to look for various indicators to determine what the post is all about. Examples of this include:
- Placing a particular keyword in the title of your blog post
- Putting the same keyword on the first paragraph of your write-up
- Creating simple URLs which houses a keyword within
- Using proper file names, tags, and links when attaching images
Taking note of all of these will give you a better fighting chance in the SEO world. It will also enable you to increase your web traffic, which you can translate to potential clients.
Posting Blogs Without Value
Do you use your blog to post a review about a particular YouTube video? Or are you only using it to publish occasional announcements about your promos, events, and clinic? If you are doing either one or even both of these tactics, then your blog is not going to work out. This approach feels like you are treating your blog just like a Facebook or Twitter page.
Remember, your website should be a knowledge bank or hub of information and expertise in your field. It should offer content that other readers won’t be able to read from typical social media sites. There’s nothing wrong with your promotions or review. What’s important is that you give it context and place some other value-adding details which will make your blog post unique from the other ones.
Failing To Link
If you want other bloggers to promote your page, you should learn how to link to your posts internally and externally. Internal links refer to links that go to the other parts of your website. It may be placed there to promote similar blog topics, or it can also connect the reader to your call-to-action page. On the other hand, external links are links that present you to other connected websites. External links can go to your reference websites or your sponsors.
Closing The Comment Section
Many therapists out there close the comment section because they are afraid others might call them out or judge on their post. It should not be the case. As a blogger, you should ready yourself from all of these backlashes and feedback which you can then use as a basis and inspiration in improving your website.
At the same time, blogging is all about building relationships. Let your readers interact with other visitors so they will feel more valued. You can also talk to them by replying in the comment section. This way, they’ll feel more connected and trusting toward you.
Review your blog and check whether you’re committing any of these top mistakes. If you are, don’t fret! These things are easy to fix—no need to hire the top programmers out there.
So, what are you waiting for? Adopt all of these strategies now, and you’ll be on your way to being an effective therapist-blogger out there!
Many of us write down hundreds or thousands of words a day. From text messages to letters at work, writing is an integral part of our lives. But it’s not just for communication; psychology also shows that activities such as journaling and creative writing have a positive impact on our mental health. Let’s look at why:
Helps You Track Patterns
Journaling exercises typically encourage you to write every day. Many people chose to describe things they’ve done that day as well as the problems they face. “Journaling is great for enhancing self-awareness through helping us detect and track patterns of behavior, thoughts, and feelings.” Alison Stone, LCSW said.
When you do this daily, you’ll be able to look back and find patterns when it comes to your behaviors and feelings. Knowing about these issues provides you with much insight, helping you discover the root of your problems or worries. From there, you work towards addressing it.
Gives You Clarity
Writing in a diary or journal is essentially putting your thoughts on paper. By doing so, you create a reflection of yourself that you can better look at. You get to know yourself more: your fears, dreams, likes, and dislikes. From here, you’ll be able to get a good look at yourself and find out what needs to be changed. It can be difficult to know our faults, but journaling can help you gain clarity. “it’s not only the benefit of catharsis in the moment of writing that makes journaling so effective – It’s also reviewing what you’ve written.” says Lindsey Pratt Psychotherapy, LMHC.
Lets Your Emotions Out
Psychology has long warned us that bottling up emotions can be very harmful. Our mental health isn’t the only one that’ll take an impact, but our physical well-being will do so as well. Researchers found a link between negative emotions and heart disease. Sadness, anger, grief, and resentment will eat away at your chest – figuratively and literally.
Thankfully, writing can help us let our emotions out. Expressive writing, journaling, and even just messaging a friend can serve as a way for us to bring out what we’re feeling inside. For instance, if you’re feeling particularly angry about something, don’t you feel a bit relieved after ranting about it to your peers? Alternatively, you can write down all your frustrations and throw the paper away. Nobody else has to know, but at least you’ve let it all out. Writing helps us let go of negative feelings such as stress and stops them from hurting us.
Provides An Avenue For Self-Care
People always remind us how important it is to love yourself. But to be honest, it isn’t still easy, is it? But writing can serve as an avenue for us to improve our self-confidence and practice self-care. “Prioritizing daily self-care and making efforts to take action. Accepting that daily self-care is hard work and challenging.” Edna M. Esnil, PsyD said.
When journaling, task yourself to write about something you appreciate about yourself. It can be an achievement you’re proud of, an ideal you hold, or a characteristic you have. Giving yourself praise can help you battle negative emotions and is thus suitable for your mental health.
Another activity you can do is to write a letter addressed to yourself, forgiving you for something you’ve done wrong in the past. This exercise can be very freeing and helps you heal.
Makes You More Observant
When we face problems or are overly stressed, we tend to fixate on our issues. This tendency keeps us from enjoying life as we’re too busy trying to juggle our worries.
Imagine tasking yourself to write a short story. To do so, you must first find inspiration. You’ll be too busy looking for things to write about than to be caught up in our issues. Writing provides a way for us to get out of our heads and look at the things around us.
Keeps You Away From Negative Habits And Hobbies
When it comes to our struggles, many of us have negative ways of coping with them. Some of us turn to things like cigarettes, alcohol, overspending, or binge-eating. These activities can be more harmful and destructive than helpful.
Writing, on the other hand, is a positive hobby you can do. It not only helps us cope with our problems, but it also helps us deal with our issues. Writing is a more productive and healing interest, and it doesn’t even have to cost us anything.
Whether it be working on short stories, sending letters to our loved ones, or keeping a daily journal, writing helps us heal in several ways. It provides us with clarity, allowing us to track patterns that point to the root of problems that affect us. It also helps us express our emotions – both positive and negative.
We don’t have to be Shakespeare or Maya Angelou; writing is something anyone can do. Delve into it and find yourself feeling happier and more fulfilled as you create words onto a blank page.
Many people are now considering therapy as a means of improving themselves and processing their feelings. Whether you like it or not, the truth is that the services of mental health experts are somehow necessary for your wellbeing. However, it is also crucial or vital to point out that therapy has different effects on different individuals. What works for one person may or many not necessarily work for the other. Because of this, you have to be mindful of some facts about therapy. Your knowledge of these items will help you get a better understanding of how it works and if it is something that you have to consider. Continue reading
It is a fact that your brain health tends to deteriorate as you age. There may be things that you did when you were younger that you no longer remember even in your 20s. Once you hit 30 or 40, it may be difficult to recall all your conversations and activities yesterday.
The thing is, although memory loss seems to be a natural part of aging, you can try a few things to slow it down.
I have thought a hundred times first if I should add healthy eating to my list or not. After all, it appears to be on every list of things that you can find in and out of the internet these days. But then again, I have figured out that men and women of this generation are into keeping themselves fit all the time through dieting; that’s why you are reading this now.
I do not have a problem with people who want to reduce their body fats because even I try to stay away from the lusciously sinful chocolates more often than I like. However, there will surely be a problem when you are dieting too much to the point of fainting. You don’t want to feel hungry often because it will never do well for your health and your memory. John M. Grohol, Psy.D. used to say, “A balanced diet that includes lots of fiber helps keep your gut system running efficiently by helping to support a more diverse gut microbiome.”
There is an online letter to a psychologist from a girl who has an eating disorder, and the latter has been experiencing significant memory loss for quite some time already. Although there was no complete diagnosis since they are yet to meet face-to-face, the bottom line is that memory decline is linked to not having the right diet. I do not want to dig into technical terms, but let’s say that having some fruits and vegetables, which are rich in antioxidants, every day is more beneficial than nothing at all if you want to improve your memory.
It is not infrequent to see an already stressed person seem more stressed when they the house and car keys inside the already locked car in a hurry to get out of it. It will be tolerable if you can’t remember your chore, yes. If you start being unable to remember to fetch a child from school, pull out all of the plugged-in appliances before heading out or bring your business paraphernalia to work, then that turns into a huge issue. Staci Lee Schnell, MS, CS, LMFT says, “Exercising regularly is one of the easiest and most effective ways to reduce the symptoms of ADHD. Exercise has been shown to improve concentration, motivation, memory, and mood. ”
A close friend of mine has once had this problem, and when I asked him how he was able to get through it, he said, “Exercise did it for me.” The man poured all of his frustrations out at the punching bags in the gym every day after working hours. By the time he gets back to work, he said he always feels like a brand-new person. The things that he used to forget easily stay longer in his memory bank than usual; he does not even need to write instructions down anymore.
Although not everyone can do the same thing, especially when you happen to be an employee and a parent, remember that the gym is not the only place where you can exercise. You can walk or jog in the morning for at least 30 minutes, as well as try yoga or Pilates in a quiet room at home. You will see a nice change in your memory soon enough.
Do Not Insist On Multitasking
Like being a gym rat, multitasking is not for everybody. I have seen a lot of people try to do it. A few have succeeded, but many have lost their mind because of it. Although you are free to “try and try until you die,” you should stop trying hard if you tend to lose your focus and forget the more important aspects of your life.
It is thrilling to be labeled as the person who can do it all because that constitutes the fact that you can extraordinarily do two or three or four things at once. However, keep in mind as well that your brain will have work extra hard for it to be able to keep up with you and your activities. When the brain “overheats,” stress will take over, and your memory will soon take cover. Hence, do not insist on multitasking if you know within yourself that you are not capable of doing it. Gretchen Flores, MA LPC LCPC reminds that “A limit is an invisible line that exists between emotional, physical, and psychological well being and becoming anxious, irritable and stressed.”
Try the tips mentioned above to improve your brain health and prevent memory loss from affecting your life significantly. This way, you will be able to look back in the olden days by yourself instead of needing someone else to narrate the past to you.