A Message To The 20-Year-Old Me


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We all dreamed of having a family of our own when we were little. Some of us may have played mom and dad and built a make-believe house. Little did we know that life is going to be tough when we’re not kids anymore. The responsibilities as an adult are sometimes overwhelming that many develop depression.


Right now, I couldn’t say that my life is the way I planned it. I am not a doctor, I don’t have a house of my own, and I don’t have a car. They say we couldn’t have it all. Life is just balanced, and there’s always an aspect of it where you’re going to fail. “No one likes to fail, but some people take it harder than others,” says counselor Monte Drenner. So it should be considered.


I wasn’t able to be a professional because my long-time boyfriend and I decided to get married right after graduation. I couldn’t say no at that time. We were madly in love, and I was afraid that I might lose him if I’d let that moment slip.


We got pregnant on our first year of marriage. We were happy at first, and my husband was doing great at his job. We decided that I’ll stay home and take care of our baby, so basically, I became a housewife for ten years now. I was enjoying what I was doing until life got a little harder. His salary could not sustain all our needs, so we had to downgrade our lifestyle. Now I understand Elizabeth Scott, MS, a wellness coach when she said, “Although any stress can take a toll on your health, stress related to financial issues can be especially toxic.”


I couldn’t say we’re struggling so hard in life, but I wish we were able to prepare, so we wouldn’t have to go through all the hardships right now. If only I could talk to the 20-year-old me and tell her all the things I know now.



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If Given A Chance, This Is What The 30-Year-Old Me Would Say To My 10-Year-Younger Self:


  • Set Your Goals For Yourself


Yes, you have a partner, but you two are different individuals. He has his own life, and you have yours. It’s okay to plan together, but make sure that you have goals for yourself. You want to be a doctor, right? Go for it! Never give up your ambitions just because of your feeling at the moment. If he loves you, he’ll wait for you no matter how long. You’ll have a lifetime together, so a few years for yourself is not too much to ask.


  • Dream Big


Always aim for the biggest. Don’t settle for what you think you can achieve. Strive for the things that challenge you. They will make you grow as an individual. You will never get better if you always stay in your comfort zone. Think great of yourself instead of limiting the things you can do. You know what you want, and that’s the most important thing. Never lose focus until you get it. Know that everything that comes between you and your dreams is a distraction.


  • Take It Easy With Love


  • Don’t rush love. Yes, it is a magical feeling, but it can spellbind you to move away from your dreams.


  • True love is never selfish, so you should both want what’s best for the other, and that’s to see the both of you grow individually.


  • True love is patient, so take it easy. If it’s true love, you’ll have a whole lifetime to spend together. Use your time in nurturing yourself as an individual so that you’ll be able to give more. You can’t give what you don’t have.


  • Secure Your Future


Being ambitious is okay. Be idealistic and buy yourself a house and a car; make sure you have savings and a second source of income. It doesn’t hurt to be ready for the future but being unprepared does.


  • Be Happy With Yourself


  • Make a bucket list of the things you want to accomplish before turning 28.
  • Make a list of the countries you want to visit before you settle down.
  • Try different cuisines.
  • Get a tattoo if you wish.
  • Dare yourself to live on the edge sometimes.


Do all the things that make you happy. Be someone who makes you happy, so you won’t go finding it from anyone else. Note that “Authentic happiness is relating to the entire universe. When someone relates and leaves nothing out, you can see it in the face and posture. There is a presence about a truly happy person, a look that says “Yes,” to oneself, to others, and to the world.” Andrea F. Polard, PsyD said.


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I wish I knew these things when I was younger. Things could have gone differently. Maybe we would be happier, perhaps not. Still, there’s still a difference in settling down ready. Life has a lesser chance of catching you off-guard.


I know I can’t bring back the past, and it’s not possible that the 20-year-old me could know this, and even though I know there’s nothing I can do about what’s happened ten years ago, I could still do something now. I am my present self who knows better, and this time, I’ll make sure the 40-year-old me won’t have to do this all over again.



Reasons I’m Thankful For The 7 Years With My Ex

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Being in a relationship for an extended period of time can teach you a lot of things. From understanding the value of love and finding the essence of your self-worth, everything is undeniably in control. However, since there are relationships that require an end, you will eventually feel the need for letting go and being able to develop some beneficial qualities for yourself and become a better person.

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Living Up With The Effects Of Bullying According To Psychiatry

The impact of bullying, be it in the school, the internet or within the family, has significantly compromised the mental health of children involved in bullying. Experiencing violence and humiliation at a very young age is something genuinely undesirable, but because of bullying, children had to go through the emotional and physical pain that will forever be etched in their minds and will be part of their lives.  

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Signs That Determine You Are No Longer In Love 

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It’s entirely normal for a relationship to go through several rough times and it practically happens to a lot of people who are in a long-term commitment. However, it’s a different story when you realize that you are no longer happy and thoroughly committed to the kind of connection you have. It is where you feel the lack of intimacy that somehow drags you down. So how would you know if you’re still into him? Here are some signs that can answer that question.    

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No One Wants You To Be Successful


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Face it. People will have a lot to say when you are trying to push your limits and do things on your own. Most of them assume that you can never make it because you don’t have enough guts to work your way to the top. Sadly, these people are often the ones you offer and spend your life with. These individuals judge you, mock you, and break down your spirit. Why? That is because they do not want you to succeed.

Sad Reality

Sometimes your best is not often enough to convince people to support you. That is because it is either they can never benefit from your achievements, or they don’t feel like living behind your success. But the truth is, these people only want to be like you but just can’t. BetterHelp identifies these individuals as “toxic.” They do not want you to succeed because they know you are capable of becoming one. They do not want to see you living your life to the fullest because they want it too. They desire it too much, but they know they are incapable of doing so. With that, you need to understand that “Research shows that how you think about yourself can have a powerful effect on how you feel. Practice using words that promote feelings of self-worth and personal power. Give yourself a positive pep-talk.” That’s according to Dr. Aaron Kaplan, PsyD, Clinical Psychologist.

Most of the time, you hear them complain about their lives. And when you don’t care, they marked you as a selfish, uncaring, and inconsiderate human. But is that your problem? Of course, not. Honestly, you do not have to care about them when they don’t take a minute to appreciate all your efforts towards reaching your goal. It is not your mistake for being motivated in creating something for your future. It is these people’s fault why they are still miserable and unfortunate. “Look at negative thoughts like reruns of a TV show you’ve seen a million times. Let them play in the background while you shift your focus to something else.” Jo Eckler, PsyD suggests.

Cut To The Chase


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Your life and success are yours alone. These people who stick around when you are on top are parasites. You need to get them off your system and block their every entrance in your life. Do not feel sorry for their sad lives because they deserve it. They choose not to do anything with their situation, so it is not your obligation to pull them out of the pit. Listen to yourself. You know better. Value the things you can do and never allow these people to rip you into pieces.

Your goals are the things that matter. “People with a healthy self-esteem tend to view failure as an event. People with low self-esteem often view failure as fatal. This thought process pummels one’s self-esteem and overtime being a failure becomes their identity.” counselor Monte Drenner said. People might never agree with your ways, but it is not your entire problem. Let them take care of themselves and do not wish for them to get involved with your success. Because if you do that, these ungrateful people will take everything from you until you have nothing left. So instead of trying your best for them, work things out for yourself. Focus on what you can achieve and become more and more successful. Because once you are on top, these people will soon crawl back up. Trust me. These parasites live for their benefits.


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You don’t get to be where you are without hardships and sacrifices. Being successful is a choice, and it takes a lot of hard work. When you allow people to pull you down, you will never achieve anything. And even if you think you are capable of doing everything, when you enable these losers to control you, you will fail and will hit the ground ten times harder.

Reasons Why People Leave You


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Have you ever wonder why there are people in your life that does not want you anymore? Have you questioned yourself about the type of personality you have that makes people unloving? Is there a significant chance that you understand how your behavior is affecting the way others connect with you. Are you unaware of your words and actions toward others’ feelings and opinions? If you know you are not making any slight offense that others cannot take, then maybe it is not you that is the problem. Perhaps the way you see things is different from the rest. So instead of them accepting you, they leave you because you tend to be distinctive. If you are confident that your personality, behavior, and self-expression are not the cause of why the people around you leave, then perhaps here are the grounds.

You Are Brutally Honest

“Most people have a loud inner critic which makes their life more stressful,” says David Klow, a licensed therapist. In case you haven’t noticed, people do not like it when others tell them the truth. No one wants to hear the truth because they get overwhelmed with lots of lies. That is the problem with people. So when you are brutally honest, people think that your opinions and suggestions are not worthy. You become a type of person with less of a value. Most of your friends, family, co-workers, and schoolmates will think that your honesty is something that rips them the ability to enjoy whatever lies are in front of them. These people believe that regardless of what you are telling them is true, as long as it hurts, it will never mean a thing.

You Refuse To Blend With The Crowd


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There is this mentality that when you try to be yourself, you get judged. People do not feel comfortable when someone is not blending in with the majority. That is because a lot of them are afraid to get left behind. “If your intention is to live a meaningful and healthy life, you will make decisions that support this intention, and feel good about yourself when you succeed in this purpose.” Deborah Khoshaba Psy.D. explains. Everyone thinks of reaching the top no matter what. So when someone is nearly there, these losers always have something negative to say. They take all your power and motivation to do things that is self-satisfying because they are not satisfied with what they do in their lives. With that, they convince more morons to hate and discriminate you for being different.

You Love Yourself More Than Anything


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What is more mind-boggling with a lot of people is their hate towards individuals who love themselves. They look at these self-loving people as self-centered, biased, and inconsiderate ones. Funny, because these unworthy people who don’t know how to appreciate others tell everyone that loving one’s self is a selfish act. However, they do not realize that self-love is the only thing that can save people from having emotional and mental agony.

Honestly, these people who complain about you being brutally honest, different, and self-loving, are the worst people to have in life. Let them go and let them leave you. Fran Walfish, PsyD says, “When trying to keep a positive attitude, you must avoid people who thrive on negativity.” Do not worry because it is not your fault to be unique. It is their problem for having misperception towards people like you who can stand proud of being exceptional.

Things You Should Do For Future You


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It is not always that you understand yourself. It is also not possible that you can convince people to accept you for who you are. It is not usual that you manage the things you want in life without thinking through it. It is not often that you know what you can do and who you want to become. Since there is no guarantee that you can stay consistent with yourself, you might want to consider doing things for future you.

Appreciate Your Self And Love Your Flaws

There is nothing more validating than accepting your imperfections. You are not perfect, and you will never be one. So instead of trying to tell the world how worthy your life is for the things and people around you, live it for yourself. Do not mind those people who see nothing good in you because whatever you do, they will never appreciate you. When you find time to value yourself, your future self will thank you because you will become more passionate. You will become aware of what you can do and what you can become. You will become you. “You’ll love yourself more when you set limits or say no to work, love, or activities that deplete or harm you physically, emotionally and spiritually, or express poorly who you are.” Deborah Khoshaba Psy.D. said.

Listen To What Your Mind And Heart Tell You


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Listen to what your heart and mind tell you because your future self needs it. Nothing is satisfying in everyone’s life than to be able to decide for yourself. But be mindful, creating a decision that gets based on mind or heart alone is never going to work. So before you end up making mistakes, you have to make sure that your decisions undergo emotional and mental balance. Do not make decisions without using both. Never judge with what you see, but never misunderstand what you feel.

Take Care Of Yourself

No one is going to care about yourself but you. Yes, some people will care. But they will not make a move to do it because they are not obliged. You have to bring the balance in your life and control the things that require your full attention. Save yourself from anxiety, stress, and depression. Live life the way you want it, provided that you can handle it no matter what. Listen to your mind and body. Take quality care of your emotional, physical, spiritual, and mental health. There is a guarantee that your future you will benefit from your effort. “Prioritizing daily self-care and making efforts to take action. Accepting that daily self-care is hard work and challenging.” Edna M. Esnil, PsyD said.

Never Allow Negativity To Enter Your Life


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Regardless of the negative things being family, friends, and significant other, never let them ruin your composure. Your future self will become appreciative towards your effort in keeping yourself calm and with peace. Do not allow guilt to control your decisions, and do not let self-doubt to ruin your state of mind. Always consider choosing what is best for your overall development. Do not complain about things, and look for ways to make it better. “Negative thoughts are just a part of life, but they don’t have to consume you. Instead of trying to ignore those thoughts altogether, try countering them with positive statements.” Licensed clinical psychologist John Mayer, Ph.D. said.

There is no way you can handle the future encounter. However, when you learn to accept the necessity of change, you will see that things in life are much more significant.


Types Of Friends You Should Avoid


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Your friends can become one of the most critical persons in your life. They teach you a lot of lessons. They provide value in everything you do, and they become the foundation of your self-improvement decisions. However, not all of them are as beneficial as you thought they would be. Some only want nothing but to take advantage of you. Most of the times, they become the source of your emotional and mental suffering. With that, your ability to know which ones to keep is essential in maintaining your overall health and development. So here are the types of friends you should avoid.

“I take Yours, But You Can’t Take Mine.”

Most types of friendship give and take. When you offer them something, they offer something in return. However, some individuals take so much of your time and energy but are not willing to sacrifice theirs. These people have the mentality that consuming something from you is their primary purpose. But when you are the one who wants something from them, those things become an off-limits. These types of friends are selfish and undeniably self-centered. Erika Martinez, PsyD once said, “You have to get really clear with yourself first about what’s motivating you when you agree to do someone else a favor.”

“I Will Help, But Give Something In Return”


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“Your environment, both your social and natural surroundings, can greatly impact how you feel.”  Marjie L. Roddick, MA, NCC, LMHC said. It is vital to recognize that friendship is something that requires effort. It is often successful when two parties know their responsibilities to each other. But when your friends are only doing things for you because they benefit from it, you should consider cutting them off. These people will not only take something from you but will also make you feel that you owe them the world. Their attitudes get stuck in the idea that whatever they do for you are something that you should thank them forever.

“I’m Here Because I Need You”

Friends should be there for you when you need them, and not the other way around. When these people stick around because they know they can gain something, they are not the ones you need. These types of friends mostly choose you and follow you because they know you will give them something. But when you happen to ignore their needs and start to refuse to all their demands, they will leave you in an instant.

“It Is Always A No For Me”


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Karen R. Koenig, MEd, LCSW used to say, “Nothing ruins self-esteem like surrounding yourself with people who abuse or neglect you.” When you have these types of friends that always say no and does not want to be involved in your life, you should leave them immediately. These ungrateful people will never agree to anything you do or say. These people’s lives are focused on making you feel bad about yourself. They do not support your ideas, and they never appreciate your worth. You have to avoid these types of friends because they are draining, exhausting, and full of shit.

Top Mistakes Therapists Commit In Blogging

Blogging is one of the best marketing strategies for therapists to bring in new clients, show their expertise, or educate potential clients. Contrary to popular belief, blogging is not that easy. You have to consider several things if you do not want to stain your reputation. Listed below are the top mistakes most bloggers commit when first starting out.

Inability To Post Regular Content

Web traffic does not come out of nowhere. Do not expect an instant influx of readers the moment you establish your new website. The best way to attract more audience is to add blog posts regularly depending on your capability. You may opt to create content once or twice a week, but you have to make sure that you’ll be consistent throughout.

Not Adding Images To The Blog Posts

Studies revealed that images are essential to your write-ups. They capture the eyes of potential readers and entice them to check out your content. It also gives out the message that they are not reading boring content, hence increasing the length of their stay on your website. Lastly, putting pictures increases the number of likes and shares it gets on social media.

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Not Using On-Page SEO

Not using search engine optimization (SEO) is most likely the most common mistake therapists commit in their blogs. There are several times that readers see titles like “What You Should Do In Therapy” or “My Thoughts About Mental Health.” Believe it or not, these posts will not rank high enough in the Google search results due to its vagueness.

When drafting your content, make sure to familiarize yourself with the basics of SEO. Experts programmed search engines to look for various indicators to determine what the post is all about. Examples of this include:

  • Placing a particular keyword in the title of your blog post
  • Putting the same keyword on the first paragraph of your write-up
  • Creating simple URLs which houses a keyword within
  • Using proper file names, tags, and links when attaching images

Taking note of all of these will give you a better fighting chance in the SEO world. It will also enable you to increase your web traffic, which you can translate to potential clients.

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Posting Blogs Without Value

Do you use your blog to post a review about a particular YouTube video? Or are you only using it to publish occasional announcements about your promos, events, and clinic? If you are doing either one or even both of these tactics, then your blog is not going to work out. This approach feels like you are treating your blog just like a Facebook or Twitter page.

Remember, your website should be a knowledge bank or hub of information and expertise in your field. It should offer content that other readers won’t be able to read from typical social media sites. There’s nothing wrong with your promotions or review. What’s important is that you give it context and place some other value-adding details which will make your blog post unique from the other ones.

Failing To Link

If you want other bloggers to promote your page, you should learn how to link to your posts internally and externally. Internal links refer to links that go to the other parts of your website. It may be placed there to promote similar blog topics, or it can also connect the reader to your call-to-action page. On the other hand, external links are links that present you to other connected websites. External links can go to your reference websites or your sponsors.

Closing The Comment Section

Many therapists out there close the comment section because they are afraid others might call them out or judge on their post. It should not be the case. As a blogger, you should ready yourself from all of these backlashes and feedback which you can then use as a basis and inspiration in improving your website.

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At the same time, blogging is all about building relationships. Let your readers interact with other visitors so they will feel more valued. You can also talk to them by replying in the comment section. This way, they’ll feel more connected and trusting toward you.

Review your blog and check whether you’re committing any of these top mistakes. If you are, don’t fret! These things are easy to fix—no need to hire the top programmers out there.

So, what are you waiting for? Adopt all of these strategies now, and you’ll be on your way to being an effective therapist-blogger out there!