Why Do Men Cheat? (My Husband’s Infidelity Turns Out To Be My Fault) 

We know that no relationship is perfect and sometimes, it gets complicated whenever we try to work things out in a way that we (women) seem to understand. When the marriage fails, and our husband decided to cheat, we only ask one question – why? 

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We always assume that when our man cheats, he’s the one to blame for the action. His behavior has nothing to do with our lack of responsibility as a wife, and we are not part of the blame. However, in most cases, men struggle to fight for their innocence with the use of behavior that somehow women (not all) are capable of having.   

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A Boring Sexual Intimacy – Seriously speaking, men need sex, and when we can’t provide the kind of complacency they need, they will eventually seek it outside our marriage. However in most cases, when we fail to satisfy their desire for the type of sexual activity that they picture out it should be, then it is another aspect to consider. Let’s say we regularly comply with their sexual needs but don’t do anything to make it feel special. Then we can expect it to become a factor for a relationship issue.  

Too Much Focus On The Essence Of Imbalance – “Cheating in a marriage or other committed relationship is so destructive that about 50% of the time the couple breaks up.” Dave Stacho LMHC said. As women, we feel entitled to become queens and our men should become our knight and shining armor. However, when we fail to realize that they also want to feel appreciated, it can escalate into a problematic relationship issue in no time. We have to admit that women have this sense of selfishness that she craves perfection of the things she yearns and that the husband is responsible for providing her that kind of complete happiness. As a result, men leave the type of relationship that does not reciprocate in any way.   

Giving An Over The Top Criticism – We, women, are soft when it comes to negotiations and making plans is almost our best asset. However, too much criticism and less compliment to our husband can lead to marital problems. Men get tired at some point when we constantly tell them “they’re not good enough” and that leads them to look outside of the relationship to be able to feel their worth. They became attracted to someone who values their imperfections. 

Defying A Natural Change – “Think about the old “seven year itch” and how the fact that even in times when marriage was deemed to be more sacred than it is now, a husband’s inclinations toward being unfaithful after a period of marriage was so pronounced that it merited its own name.” Katrina Bilhimer, Ma, LMHC explains. In a relationship, we sometimes want things to go our way, and that includes changing some of our husband’s bad behaviors. Though there might be a good part of instantly transforming something we don’t like, defying a natural change can be problematic. When our husband feels forced to do things they don’t want to, they become more aggressive and unpredictable. Therefore, the more we insist on changing his behavior, the less we get to see improvements in his personality. When they become pressured, they can quickly fall into deception and eventually commit an affair.  

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Our husband is not the only person responsible for nurturing our marriage. We have to take our part too. As a wife, we have the sole obligation to show our husband that as we continue to stay in the relationship, we are capable of doing things that can help in both of our developments such as emotional, psychological, and behavioral aspects. If we don’t want our husbands to have an affair, then we must not give them a reason to do it in the first place.  Remember, “In the age of instant connection and feedback, this may be a good reminder that less connection with others may be the best type of connection for your romantic relationship.” Sam Louie MA, LMHC said.