We all dreamed of having a family of our own when we were little. Some of us may have played mom and dad and built a make-believe house. Little did we know that life is going to be tough when we’re not kids anymore. The responsibilities as an adult are sometimes overwhelming that many develop depression.
Right now, I couldn’t say that my life is the way I planned it. I am not a doctor, I don’t have a house of my own, and I don’t have a car. They say we couldn’t have it all. Life is just balanced, and there’s always an aspect of it where you’re going to fail. “No one likes to fail, but some people take it harder than others,” says counselor Monte Drenner. So it should be considered.
I wasn’t able to be a professional because my long-time boyfriend and I decided to get married right after graduation. I couldn’t say no at that time. We were madly in love, and I was afraid that I might lose him if I’d let that moment slip.
We got pregnant on our first year of marriage. We were happy at first, and my husband was doing great at his job. We decided that I’ll stay home and take care of our baby, so basically, I became a housewife for ten years now. I was enjoying what I was doing until life got a little harder. His salary could not sustain all our needs, so we had to downgrade our lifestyle. Now I understand Elizabeth Scott, MS, a wellness coach when she said, “Although any stress can take a toll on your health, stress related to financial issues can be especially toxic.”
I couldn’t say we’re struggling so hard in life, but I wish we were able to prepare, so we wouldn’t have to go through all the hardships right now. If only I could talk to the 20-year-old me and tell her all the things I know now.
If Given A Chance, This Is What The 30-Year-Old Me Would Say To My 10-Year-Younger Self:
- Set Your Goals For Yourself
Yes, you have a partner, but you two are different individuals. He has his own life, and you have yours. It’s okay to plan together, but make sure that you have goals for yourself. You want to be a doctor, right? Go for it! Never give up your ambitions just because of your feeling at the moment. If he loves you, he’ll wait for you no matter how long. You’ll have a lifetime together, so a few years for yourself is not too much to ask.
- Dream Big
Always aim for the biggest. Don’t settle for what you think you can achieve. Strive for the things that challenge you. They will make you grow as an individual. You will never get better if you always stay in your comfort zone. Think great of yourself instead of limiting the things you can do. You know what you want, and that’s the most important thing. Never lose focus until you get it. Know that everything that comes between you and your dreams is a distraction.
- Take It Easy With Love
- Don’t rush love. Yes, it is a magical feeling, but it can spellbind you to move away from your dreams.
- True love is never selfish, so you should both want what’s best for the other, and that’s to see the both of you grow individually.
- True love is patient, so take it easy. If it’s true love, you’ll have a whole lifetime to spend together. Use your time in nurturing yourself as an individual so that you’ll be able to give more. You can’t give what you don’t have.
- Secure Your Future
Being ambitious is okay. Be idealistic and buy yourself a house and a car; make sure you have savings and a second source of income. It doesn’t hurt to be ready for the future but being unprepared does.
- Be Happy With Yourself
- Make a bucket list of the things you want to accomplish before turning 28.
- Make a list of the countries you want to visit before you settle down.
- Try different cuisines.
- Get a tattoo if you wish.
- Dare yourself to live on the edge sometimes.
Do all the things that make you happy. Be someone who makes you happy, so you won’t go finding it from anyone else. Note that “Authentic happiness is relating to the entire universe. When someone relates and leaves nothing out, you can see it in the face and posture. There is a presence about a truly happy person, a look that says “Yes,” to oneself, to others, and to the world.” Andrea F. Polard, PsyD said.
I wish I knew these things when I was younger. Things could have gone differently. Maybe we would be happier, perhaps not. Still, there’s still a difference in settling down ready. Life has a lesser chance of catching you off-guard.
I know I can’t bring back the past, and it’s not possible that the 20-year-old me could know this, and even though I know there’s nothing I can do about what’s happened ten years ago, I could still do something now. I am my present self who knows better, and this time, I’ll make sure the 40-year-old me won’t have to do this all over again.