Mental Health Worries I Will Never Tell My Family About

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Ever since I graduated from university, I have been working as a freelance writer and editor. Mind you; that’s not what I earned a degree for. I got a Bachelor’s in Biology, which was supposed to be my pre-med degree, but I genuinely love writing and editing more than becoming a doctor. (Sorry, Mom.)

This news had not been taken lightly or fully supported by my family, of course. Almost every person in our clan worked in the medical field. In truth, we built a small hospital a few years ago, where my father had been serving as a chief administrator. My mother, on the other hand, headed the nursing department. They kept on saying that they could not wait for all of us to work together, so they felt betrayed when I changed my career path.

Well, I already apologized to my parents about not telling them the truth about my real dreams. I also wanted to show them that I made the correct choice, that I would not become a starving artist like many others. Thus, I took on one full-time job and three part-time jobs, moved out of my family’s home, and started living independently.

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Was it challenging? Yes, primarily since I was used to never needing to do household chores all my life — we had maids for that. But because I was living alone, I had to learn how to do everything, from vacuuming to washing dishes to doing the laundry. My parents knew my hardships, so they were encouraging me to come back and live with them. Although I felt tempted a bunch of times, I declined the offer because I wanted to prove that I could survive on freelance money.

Nevertheless, I never told my parents that I worried about things that sometimes kept me up at night. Below are some of them.

Running Out Of Clients

My primary fear is running out of people who want to get my services. If you are unaware of freelance jobs, it entails that most of my work does not have a contract to back me up. The clients could sack me anytime they pleased. While it rarely happened to me because I gave 110% of the effort to every job, no one could ever be sure when a better writer or editor would come along.

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That’s the reason why I felt the need to take on multiple clients at once. My friends said that I was already a workaholic for doing that, but they had stable jobs. They could not fathom what it’s like to work without signing an agreement first. I love what I do now, but it can honestly be bothering sometimes.

Not Having Enough Money For My Bills

The amount that I earned every month was not fixed. Sometimes, I could get up to $2000. Other times, I would be lucky to get $1500. Although it was not an insufficient income for a single woman who only ever needed to work from home, I had bills to pay like everyone else.

I ended up getting three roommates, so I reduced my house bills to 500 bucks. However, I still needed to pay for my internet, phone, and food monthly. The latter tend to cost at least 500 bucks alone, considering I could not be satisfied with a $1 burger from McDonald’s per meal. Because of that, I worried about not having enough money to pay for everything.

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Needing To Ask For Financial Help

In all fairness to my parents, they never wanted me to live in poverty. Even though they could not understand my decision to leave medicine, they always offered to help me financially. Dad said, “If you don’t want to come home, let us buy you a condo. We’ll even send homemade meals here every day if you like.”

What stops me from accepting their generosity is my pride. The reason is that I know my parents. They can be charming, but taking their offer is like me proving that they are right for claiming that my freelance career is doomed. Hence, I always think of ways to avoid asking for financial help from my family.

Living From One Paycheck To Another Again

I got to save several hundred bucks from every paycheck ever since I started freelancing. That’s especially true if I chose to go on a diet for a week or so. It allowed me to save enough money to take a few days off work without a problem sometimes.

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However, one of my greatest fears is living from paycheck to paycheck again. I experienced that the first time I moved out and had to foot all the bills for a month before I found roommates. I used up my savings back then and survived on instant noodles. I would never want to deal with the same thing in the future.

Final Thoughts

Some people may frown about my decision to lie to my family about my mental health worries, and I understand why. Despite that, I still have a lot to prove to them. Perhaps I will come clean about everything once my work becomes stable, and I never need to work for money another day. For now, it’s our little secret.

Choosing A Hobby That The Family Can Experience And Enjoy

 

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If you still don’t have fun hobbies that you can do with the whole family, don’t fret. You can always start creating them today. Do them for the children. Let these hobbies be your moments that would break the silence and boredom in the home. My husband and I thought that if we raised our three children in California without going out and experiencing nature, our children might never forgive us when they grow up! So we talked about choosing our favorite activities – which included swimming – and then we went to the mall to buy ourselves some suits.

Whether it’s swimming, hiking, or something that’s completely different from our hobbies, find a hobby that everyone in the family can do. It should be something that’s:

 

Accessible. Find activities that are exciting for those of you who are just starting out, but of course, with space to improve and grows – music, craft, and sports are some great examples. We were so happy to be able to have a few laps at the nearby lake, with my youngest completing one. Maybe a few days from now, in our second swim, she’ll be able to make two. There are so much time and space to improve, so we’re not worried at all. Tomorrow we’ll try our hand at hiking and begin with just a few rough roads. Soon, we will challenge ourselves with tougher terrain.

Age-appropriate. The toddlers can start joining the simple kinds of activities while the babies…well, they’ll enjoy themselves in the carriers while mom or dad juggles from one hobby to another. Keep in mind that the hobbies you choose are those that your children will enjoy participating in (or watching, in the case of the babies). I don’t particularly have problems like these because my kids can all join (they’re 15, 11, and 5), but for those who have toddlers and choose swimming as a regular thing, you can always prepare a kiddie pool for them to play and be active as well safely.

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Regular And Consistent. You can also opt for activities that are events – short family getaways, visit different parks, or monthly trips to the carnival. You can make these events a hobby if you do them regularly and consistently – maybe once a week, monthly, or yearly – something that becomes a part of your identity as a family.

Reasonable. A lot of hobbies are so expensive to maintain, so for families with a budget, you can opt for activities that are within your means. However, for hobbies like swimming or hiking, making a more reasonable investment will last you quite some time, like buying a durable pair of hiking shoes or swimwear. After that, you’d only need to take water and some food with you, or perhaps spare a few dollars to order when you’re in a commercial space. Whatever activity you decide to do repeatedly, make sure that it doesn’t go over your means to continue doing it. As for my family, we’ve been thinking about trying out skiing when we move to Colorado, but we also know we’ll have to increase our money bank for our hobbies in order to achieve that.

Make It Enjoyable. Encouraging a younger kid to keep pushing until the finish line won’t be easy, but when he’s told that his favorite flavor of ice cream is ready for him when he gets to the end of the road, he’ll most likely accept the challenge with open arms. And when he becomes really exhausted and almost ready to give up, you can all run with him together, maybe shout words of encouragement or sing upbeat songs to keep him going.

When the children grow up, and ice cream and singing songs won’t be enough motivation for them, perhaps it’ll be great to increase the level up a notch, like promising their long-awaited Disney or an interstate trip to become a reality when school ends finally. Most teens, I would think, will certainly catch that bait. Truly, learning something new and having fun doing it is not impossible at all. And doing it with your beloved family now and in the later years is certainly an awesome incentive.

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Why Is Hiking A Great Hobby?

My whole family is a witness to this – going out to learn and experience nature habitually has done us a lot of good for our mental, physical, and emotional wellness. One good benefit of hikes and long walks with family is more time to talk with each other and improve family relationships. You get to have various conversations about your children’s everyday activities in and out of the house. Thus you learn more about them. It’s also an opportunity to bond with your spouse, spend more quality time together, and strengthen the marital bond. Additionally, the thrill of exploring and reconnecting with nature is never-ending for the whole family. It instills a sense of gratitude, admiration, and respect for God’s creation – values that you, your partner, and the children will definitely benefit from for the rest of your lives.

 

 

 

When To Get Over The COVID-19 Pandemic?

Several months ago, we experienced the unfortunate thing of having virus infection occurrences in a specific part of a country. It was a respiratory virus that internally damages humans by targeting the body’s immune system. The spread went faster that public health measures can no longer contain it. Now, health organizations called it an emergency and declared a pandemic since the virus is now spreading worldwide. And as of this moment, the death toll continues to rise. Thus, everyone is asking the same questions over and over again: When will the world get over with this pandemic? But with all that’s happened, it seemed like it depends on what global governments choose to do next.

The Possible Options

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Herd Immunity

Possibly, a way to get rid of the virus is by getting infected. Yes, perhaps the better way to overcome the pandemic is when communities do nothing to halt the spread of the infection. When people get exposed as quickly as possible, two things can only happen – either they survive or die. Therefore, it will all come down to the process of building up the immune system. It may sound harsh, but it could support medical professionals and pharmaceutical experts in the study.

Since doctors know little about how the virus originates and how to stop it and save their patients, all they can wish for is to control hospitals’ peak capacity. The herd immunity is not-so-ideal. But there is a chance it can save a little of the already collapsing world healthcare systems.

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Delay And Vaccinate

For most people, herd immunity is considerably a brutal process of getting rid of the virus. A way health organizations acted on the spread is by mostly contaminating it so that we can deal with the situation without such a high cost of an individual’s life. Thus, a better way is through delaying the spread. It can help research facilities to study more about the virus and possibly produce a vaccine. Right now, this is the choice of the government that we are all experiencing.

It is a tactic that includes mass testing, quarantine, and physical distancing. But since many people are too stubborn to follow an instant precaution, some maintained their same routines and continued to live their lives the way they used to. Unfortunately, it began to cause a lot of problems because people’s stubbornness led to a rise in the number of infected ones that even cause their virus-related deaths.

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Restrict And Coordinate

The idea of this process is to stop the virus from getting another host everywhere. It is a combination of social distancing, home quarantine, and travel restriction. The flow should follow critically synchronize responses from people all over the world. And when properly coordinated, it might have a chance of stopping the pandemic within a few months with a low loss of life.

However, this method can lead to economic malfunction. Thus, the majority of people will not comply. And even with these measures are in place, there is still a chance that the virus continues to spread regardless of how careful an individual can be. That explains why some cities that thought they already managed to control the outbreak went on the resurgence and return to social distancing protocols.

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We can all expect that within the next several years, there will be a possible vaccine that will become freely available thanks to people’s worldwide efforts. But unless the virus gets eliminated completely, the risk of everyone getting infected is at stake. So whether it is herd immunity, delay and vaccination, and restrict and coordinate, we all need to put on some effort in contributing to what’s best for the world.

How This COVID-19 Pandemic Changes People’s Perspective

This Coronavirus world health issue brings people to the verge of multiple realizations. The situation becomes a window for the people to understand that nothing in this world today is safe. The virus affects every individual regardless of their status, age, sexual orientation, and religious beliefs. There are no exemptions as to who are the ones that should get and not get infected. It is a sad moment for everybody’s lives because the situations trigger anxiety and depression at unexpected levels.

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Now that people live in constant fear where a world tries its best to achieve health safety, the way they see things becomes different. Individuals are far more eager and stubborn. Yes, most people understand the situation. But not all of them are capable of realizing the importance of following rules. Some complain a lot, and others merely do not care. Honestly, you can’t blame them because everyone deals with the situation differently. But what are the top reasons this pandemic changes how people see things?

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Scarcity

An on-point answer to the previous question is scarcity. People complain because of the shortage of resources everywhere. There is not enough supply of food, shelter, and medicines. Even hospitals are out of equipment as well. The worst part of the struggle is that only those individuals who can afford to pay their way out of misery are lucky enough to get everything they need. And those unfortunate people can only wish and pray that they will be able to survive this world crisis without having anything in the table. You see, this is not only about health issues anymore. The whole situation is now consigning everything, including the world economy. There are billions of people in the world that need help. But only a few resources are available. And in some unfortunate cases, those who handle the supplies take more than for themselves.

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Survival

Perhaps you understand that it is wrong to judge people based on what they do because this situation is different. In this time of the pandemic, all are guilty of thinking about their safety. People focus more on saving their lives because they want to survive. We can’t deny the selfishness within each one of us now because it is no use. This pandemic shows us that the true nature of humans depends on their eagerness to stay alive, with or without considerations. No one wants to become a hero at this point because saving thousands of lives will be an impossible battle at this moment. Well, in case some specific persons consider sacrificing their lives for the benefit of the public, then that is an honorable move. But then I assure you that 99% of people will never consider giving up their lives for the survival of the majority. And if you think about the worst that might happen if this pandemic will not end soon, people will quickly kill to continue existence.

 

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Death

Death is the number one unfortunate ending that we all can expect if this situation continues. If you haven’t noticed it, the number of people who continue to die arises. No, perhaps the situation is still under control as of now because there are still safety measures that people can do. But when the time comes that all people start to lose hope, then that is a massive downfall for humanity. Everyone will choose death. Hopefully, it won’t be the end.

No one can say when everything will be over. Hopefully, even though the situation becomes worse every day, people will still stay positive despite all the negativity. I pray that all will have the physical, emotional, and mental courage to fight this pandemic.

How Would You Know If You Are Seeing A Good Therapist?

 

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Your mental condition matters, and as much as possible, you want to get the best help you can get from someone who knows what to do. Since your primary focus is to get the kind of overall development you need, it creates a boundary between a therapist’s approach and knowledge. So if you are currently seeing a counseling professional, it would be a great help to know if he is the right one for you.

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Just Memories

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Have you ever wondered how the future generation will remember you or if you will even be remembered? For a person to be recognized is to create something that will contribute to the human race, but everything we need for now has been developed. Maybe you must be twice as a genius like Albert Einstein, or you must be the reincarnation of Leonardo da Vinci for you never to be forgotten.

 

“The thing is, each one of us is the total of every moment that we ever experienced,” a line from a Hollywood movie, “The Vow.” Indeed, we are but a memory. If we think about it, our entire individuality is based on where we grew up, the places we’ve been to, and the people in our lives. All of these contribute to our whole being. Each of us is different from another, even our sibling or twin because no one can have the same feeling of a particular experience in the exact place and time we had.

 

What Are The Roles Of Memories In Our Individuality?

 

We can’t ignore the fact that sometimes, we make decisions based on our memories, like when you choose a profession. You want to be just like your father. You remember him saving lives, so you want to be a doctor just like him. You remember how your mother made your home magnificent and every meal just glorious, that’s why you want a wife just like her.

 

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Our memories could also trigger our behavior towards situations. An old familiar song could instantly change your mood from happy to sad or vice versa. A particular smell could trigger an emotion that only you could know why. These are all because of your memories from the last minute that had passed to the day you were born.

 

Some people also develop specific mental disorders because of the bad memories of their childhood or traumatic memory of losing someone significant in their lives. These memories create an impact on how they will continue with their lives. Some of these people who suffered abuse in their childhood could not cope up, and those memories affect their mental health leading to other negative behaviors and often, mental disorders.

 

Why Are Memories Important?

 

Memories are important because they’re like our records of every little detail that has ever happened in our lives. It’s a personal television in our head where we are the only ones who could click rewind and play.

 

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Memory is essential because it can help us decide how we would want others to remember us because we are all but mere memories. We affect people in a way that even the littlest things we do or say to them influence how they think of themselves or life in general. It is up to us if we want to be a good memory or a bad one.

 

Maybe, 99% of our population would not be remembered a century from now, but do we really care? What’s important is the memories we make today, today when we can make a difference in someone’s life, especially the people we love. The thought of them smiling when they think about their memories of us is just priceless.

 

 

 

 

 

Reasons Why People Commit Suicide

suicide letter, but it can never be enough to comprehend what it may have felt like to have given up hope. Sometimes, these people smile and laugh just before they choose to end their journey. Suicide makes us wonder how pointless life could have been. Didn’t they have family or friends? How hopeless life could have been for them that they chose this way out?

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A Message To The 20-Year-Old Me

 

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We all dreamed of having a family of our own when we were little. Some of us may have played mom and dad and built a make-believe house. Little did we know that life is going to be tough when we’re not kids anymore. The responsibilities as an adult are sometimes overwhelming that many develop depression.

 

Right now, I couldn’t say that my life is the way I planned it. I am not a doctor, I don’t have a house of my own, and I don’t have a car. They say we couldn’t have it all. Life is just balanced, and there’s always an aspect of it where you’re going to fail. “No one likes to fail, but some people take it harder than others,” says counselor Monte Drenner. So it should be considered.

 

I wasn’t able to be a professional because my long-time boyfriend and I decided to get married right after graduation. I couldn’t say no at that time. We were madly in love, and I was afraid that I might lose him if I’d let that moment slip.

 

We got pregnant on our first year of marriage. We were happy at first, and my husband was doing great at his job. We decided that I’ll stay home and take care of our baby, so basically, I became a housewife for ten years now. I was enjoying what I was doing until life got a little harder. His salary could not sustain all our needs, so we had to downgrade our lifestyle. Now I understand Elizabeth Scott, MS, a wellness coach when she said, “Although any stress can take a toll on your health, stress related to financial issues can be especially toxic.”

 

I couldn’t say we’re struggling so hard in life, but I wish we were able to prepare, so we wouldn’t have to go through all the hardships right now. If only I could talk to the 20-year-old me and tell her all the things I know now.

 

 

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If Given A Chance, This Is What The 30-Year-Old Me Would Say To My 10-Year-Younger Self:

 

  • Set Your Goals For Yourself

 

Yes, you have a partner, but you two are different individuals. He has his own life, and you have yours. It’s okay to plan together, but make sure that you have goals for yourself. You want to be a doctor, right? Go for it! Never give up your ambitions just because of your feeling at the moment. If he loves you, he’ll wait for you no matter how long. You’ll have a lifetime together, so a few years for yourself is not too much to ask.

 

  • Dream Big

 

Always aim for the biggest. Don’t settle for what you think you can achieve. Strive for the things that challenge you. They will make you grow as an individual. You will never get better if you always stay in your comfort zone. Think great of yourself instead of limiting the things you can do. You know what you want, and that’s the most important thing. Never lose focus until you get it. Know that everything that comes between you and your dreams is a distraction.

 

  • Take It Easy With Love

 

  • Don’t rush love. Yes, it is a magical feeling, but it can spellbind you to move away from your dreams.

 

  • True love is never selfish, so you should both want what’s best for the other, and that’s to see the both of you grow individually.

 

  • True love is patient, so take it easy. If it’s true love, you’ll have a whole lifetime to spend together. Use your time in nurturing yourself as an individual so that you’ll be able to give more. You can’t give what you don’t have.

 

  • Secure Your Future

 

Being ambitious is okay. Be idealistic and buy yourself a house and a car; make sure you have savings and a second source of income. It doesn’t hurt to be ready for the future but being unprepared does.

 

  • Be Happy With Yourself

 

  • Make a bucket list of the things you want to accomplish before turning 28.
  • Make a list of the countries you want to visit before you settle down.
  • Try different cuisines.
  • Get a tattoo if you wish.
  • Dare yourself to live on the edge sometimes.

 

Do all the things that make you happy. Be someone who makes you happy, so you won’t go finding it from anyone else. Note that “Authentic happiness is relating to the entire universe. When someone relates and leaves nothing out, you can see it in the face and posture. There is a presence about a truly happy person, a look that says “Yes,” to oneself, to others, and to the world.” Andrea F. Polard, PsyD said.

 

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I wish I knew these things when I was younger. Things could have gone differently. Maybe we would be happier, perhaps not. Still, there’s still a difference in settling down ready. Life has a lesser chance of catching you off-guard.

 

I know I can’t bring back the past, and it’s not possible that the 20-year-old me could know this, and even though I know there’s nothing I can do about what’s happened ten years ago, I could still do something now. I am my present self who knows better, and this time, I’ll make sure the 40-year-old me won’t have to do this all over again.

 

 

Reasons I’m Thankful For The 7 Years With My Ex

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Being in a relationship for an extended period of time can teach you a lot of things. From understanding the value of love and finding the essence of your self-worth, everything is undeniably in control. However, since there are relationships that require an end, you will eventually feel the need for letting go and being able to develop some beneficial qualities for yourself and become a better person.

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