People Say I’m Crazy, But Am I? (My Delusional Disorder)

In scientific term, a delusion is described as a false belief based on a person’s different perception of reality. It sustains a mind-created world despite what everybody else accepts as true. Even obvious pieces of evidence to the contrary become different from this mental state. Let’s say that other people don’t usually take the belief and see it as a significant member of a psychological disorder such as psychosis and schizophrenia.

Source: pxhere.com

I have been suffering from delusions for at least a month now. I can guarantee that I don’t feel or experience any other symptoms of other mental illness aside from this one in particular. Some say that this condition is tricky to observe. That’s because unlike the other psychotic disorders, delusion has little to no effect on a person’s behavior and overall functions. I guess that’s why I can say I’m still part of the population where ordinary people are somehow like me.

Delusions Various Classifications

Erotomanic delusion is a condition where a person believes that someone on a higher status is obsessively in love with them. This type of classification falls into someone who thinks about affection towards others that isn’t even possible to happen. Some people in this state somehow become obsess and end up being a stalker. Good for me, it’s not the type of delusion I have.

Grandiose delusion occurs when someone believes that they are superior to other people regarding knowledge, status, and capabilities. They often see things revolve only around them and think that all eyes are on them because they are the most important human-being ever existed. This condition has nothing to do with mine because it feels a little bit over the edge.

Jealous delusion is something that influences a person to become violent. They somehow have these running thoughts of their spouses cheating or having an affair with other people close to them. It makes them think about unnecessary scenarios that they want to believe is true. Well, I hope I won’t end up having this one.

Source: flickr.com

Somatic delusion is a condition where a person thinks that he’s inflicted with some medical problems or physical deformity. Even a doctor’s diagnosis won’t dispel or change the belief. The person’s concern is all about what he thought is happening and never attempts to listen to factual sources.

Mixed and unspecified delusion is the characteristic of having all the types of delusions. Let’s say it can be a combination of some of the other forms as well. Nope, this one’s not my thing.

Source: flickr.com

Persecutory delusion is the standard type, and yes it’s what I am experiencing right now. It makes me think that I am being cheated, followed, spied on, gossiped, poisoned, or harassed. Some say it’s comparable to over-reacting to things that aren’t even a big deal. But honestly, they don’t feel like people have sinister thoughts on and about me.

I guess my delusions are the things that make people think I’m crazy. However, my condition is not something I would want to have for as long as I live. As much as possible, I wish to get better.

Surviving Depression After A Divorce

The end of a marriage is always devastating for any or both of the parties involved. Even if the couple involved has mutually agreed upon the separation, each of them may still suffer the heartache or pain. Moreover, there is also a high possibility of feeling regret. What if you can still save the relationship? What if you never gave up? What if you chose to stay? These are just some of the questions that may bother you since the divorce.

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Therapy: How I Recovered From Depression Due To A Toxic Relationship

Source: defense.gov

I was the definition of a happy person, and as much as possible, I always wanted to focus on the healthy side of my life. However, my long-term relationship got out of hand, and I wasn’t able to recover from the seriously extensive devastation.

It was a toxic relationship where there was no chance for me to have peace of mind. I regularly experienced verbal and physical abuse from my husband for no apparent reason, and I couldn’t seem to do anything about it. I didn’t want my kids to see the damaging effects of the violence, so I kept silent all these years. I always locked myself in the room and just started crying. I felt like I didn’t want to live anymore. I thought of committing suicide, but when I thought about my kids, I ended up repeating the story over and over again.

My relationship with my husband ruined me and made me feel worthless. I was so depressed that I couldn’t fully function and concentrate on my priorities. That’s when I decided to go through therapy, where I was able to understand the harmful effects of staying committed to the wrong person.

I visit my therapist thrice a week, and she convinced me to undergo psychotherapy. We discuss all the things that make me feel sad and depress. She helped me overcome the emotional dilemma I was having. I didn’t know that I already had post-traumatic stress disorder, not until she assessed my mental health.

 

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The Good Side Of The Therapy

I somehow managed to make a better realization of what I wanted for the future and what kind of life I want for my kids. After a month of session, I finally got rid of sleepless nights. I became more satisfied and alive. I avoided arguments with anybody, and I somehow became less focused on stress and anxiety.  I started taking care of myself and avoided unhealthy food. I was advised to exercise and maintain a healthy diet. I didn’t worry too much about the things that I needed to do every day, and eventually, I got back the necessary confidence I once lost.

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The Amazing Result Of Therapy

I became a different person over the course of the session, and I was so happy that I grew in control of my life. My kids noticed the changes, and I somehow affected their health. They also became more aware of their emotional needs, and they seemed to worry less about me. My kids and I eventually became closer with each other.

Though the therapy session indeed helped me, it was still part of my decision to get better. I ended my marriage because the kind of relationship I had can no longer bring out the best in me. So before I entirely reached the depths of despair, I thought of loving myself once again. It was a painful experience, and I know that my therapy will take some time to somehow bring back my mental, emotional, and psychological health, but it won’t stop me from aiming a better life with confidence and self-worth.

If you know a friend or you, yourself, is suffering from a toxic relationship, contact BetterHelp. It’s time to get out of your depressive situation and be empowered.

Life In The Hands Of A Psychiatrist And Her Ward

It was October 10, 2010, when I found myself under lock in a psychiatric ward for the first time. I was an engineer working as a professor at a nearby university. It was never in my imagination that I would end up in such a situation.

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A New Environment

After my arrival at the psychiatric ward from my suicide attempt, I realized that the individuals in the surrounding place had worse problems than I did. There were homeless people, prostitutes, drug addicts, and other kinds of people. However, what was seriously startling was when they took everything I had.

 

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The first day of my admission was mind-boggling. It was a chance coincidence for my workplace building to be viewable from my ward which was a couple of miles away. The confinement experience was nerve-wracking. You can see people freely doing their own business looking through my window while it was the opposite for me. For safety purposes, I was locked down.

What To Expect From The Place

Inmates have bedrooms where they are restricted. Bathrooms are shared and had no locks. The bathroom design makes it possible to hear everything inside to prevent accidents that patients may encounter. Personal possessions are prohibited compared to general hospital departments. There is no way to get metal cutlery. It is the same for ceramics and glassware. Men can’t shave unless a qualified psychiatrist gives permission, and the process will be under medical supervision to avoid self-inflicted injury.

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The physicians and nurses are noteworthy. They make sound assessments, compassionate, and very perceptive people. They work on people who can be threatening and abusive at times. However, they can still do their work with respect and humanity shown towards their patients. Impressive, really.

A Devastating Experience

I didn’t bother joining group therapy at first. However, the nurses persuaded me, and I was always present since then. I contributed as much as possible and found myself narrating the events which led to my admission. The experience inside was depressing. It makes you feel you were crazy or mad. I had to get out despite the improvements I had. I told my wife when I called her that I didn’t know how much I could take and if I could still go on with it.

Source: pixabay.com

Is the tendency for academic people to fall into depression higher? It is a question that keeps bothering me. Many of us will mostly work alone rather than with a team. It causes us to spend an enormous amount of time inside our heads while drowning in the endless pile of work. Maybe it was a trigger for depression. The time I spent in that place was both advantageous yet harrowing as well. It made me remember my colleagues which I have known for a long time. Maybe a lot of them are suffering from depression and have not yet recognized it.

I’m sharing this experience with the hope that it can help other people with the same problems I had. It is to allow them to recognize their current condition and may also help them seek the assistance they need. Perhaps they can evade the need to enter a psychiatric institution if they do.

If you got the same problems or you know of someone who is in need of assistance, you may visit this page.  Their therapists will be more than willing to assist you with the help you need.

Real-Life Drunk Confessions That Will Make You Cringe

Source: mentalfloss.com

One of the greatest perks of being an adult is that we can drink our grown assess off until we’re absolutely wasted. While some of us only stop when we’re pretty sure we can’t take it anymore or when we’re certain we’ll wake up with a pretty bad hangover the next day, some people take drinking way too far that they either blackout or commit ridiculous things that they will never do when they’re sober. Drinking too much may be bad but the confessions that come afterward from the people who got wasted can be pretty amusing and funny. Want to read some of them? Then here they are.

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A Romance With An Awful Ending

Love is one of the most significant feelings that shape the world. Most decisions made are mostly based on emotion rather than intelligence to verify this. When you eat, you chose the food you like rather than the food that’s good for you. On the other hand, there are rare occasions when we accept the logical answer to what we truly want. I would like to share a story of an anonymous guy from a relatively well-off family.

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Mediocrity: You Can Do Better Than That

Source: slc-atlanta.org

Mediocrity at first thought usually has a negative connotation to it. By definition, mediocrity is a person’s lack of ability to perform or produce something well. Perhaps it’s necessary to reinforce that a mediocre person settles for a standard that assures that the job has been done and putting any more effort and energy into producing a better result, doesn’t seem worth it.

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Short Conversation Starters To Break The Ice

Have you been trapped in an awkward silence with someone because both of you can’t think of something to say? That’s okay, most of us have been in that kind of situation for once or twice. But, it would be a mistake to repeat that for the rest of our lives. Today, we will show you great conversations starters so your date or dinner party won’t turn awkward and boring.

Source: shared-meals.com

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