We know that no relationship is perfect and sometimes, it gets complicated whenever we try to work things out in a way that we (women) seem to understand. When the marriage fails, and our husband decided to cheat, we only ask one question – why?
Have you ever wondered how the future generation will remember you or if you will even be remembered? For a person to be recognized is to create something that will contribute to the human race, but everything we need for now has been developed. Maybe you must be twice as a genius like Albert Einstein, or you must be the reincarnation of Leonardo da Vinci for you never to be forgotten.
“The thing is, each one of us is the total of every moment that we ever experienced,” a line from a Hollywood movie, “The Vow.” Indeed, we are but a memory. If we think about it, our entire individuality is based on where we grew up, the places we’ve been to, and the people in our lives. All of these contribute to our whole being. Each of us is different from another, even our sibling or twin because no one can have the same feeling of a particular experience in the exact place and time we had.
What Are The Roles Of Memories In Our Individuality?
We can’t ignore the fact that sometimes, we make decisions based on our memories, like when you choose a profession. You want to be just like your father. You remember him saving lives, so you want to be a doctor just like him. You remember how your mother made your home magnificent and every meal just glorious, that’s why you want a wife just like her.
Our memories could also trigger our behavior towards situations. An old familiar song could instantly change your mood from happy to sad or vice versa. A particular smell could trigger an emotion that only you could know why. These are all because of your memories from the last minute that had passed to the day you were born.
Some people also develop specific mental disorders because of the bad memories of their childhood or traumatic memory of losing someone significant in their lives. These memories create an impact on how they will continue with their lives. Some of these people who suffered abuse in their childhood could not cope up, and those memories affect their mental health leading to other negative behaviors and often, mental disorders.
Why Are Memories Important?
Memories are important because they’re like our records of every little detail that has ever happened in our lives. It’s a personal television in our head where we are the only ones who could click rewind and play.
Memory is essential because it can help us decide how we would want others to remember us because we are all but mere memories. We affect people in a way that even the littlest things we do or say to them influence how they think of themselves or life in general. It is up to us if we want to be a good memory or a bad one.
Maybe, 99% of our population would not be remembered a century from now, but do we really care? What’s important is the memories we make today, today when we can make a difference in someone’s life, especially the people we love. The thought of them smiling when they think about their memories of us is just priceless.
Nor Was It Blue Or Bloody Either!
I know many eyes were focused up in the sky the night of January 31st. I’m saying this because I was one of the many hopefuls, excited to see the wordy moony phenomenon they called THE SUPER BLUE BLOOD MOON.
Did you see it? I sure did, to my disappointment.
suicide letter, but it can never be enough to comprehend what it may have felt like to have given up hope. Sometimes, these people smile and laugh just before they choose to end their journey. Suicide makes us wonder how pointless life could have been. Didn’t they have family or friends? How hopeless life could have been for them that they chose this way out?
Keeping the house clean and organized is essential to the well-being of the whole family. It has a lot of advantages more than we can imagine, and it affects our overall health more than we know. Why do we need to keep our house tidy? What can we benefit from keeping all our things well-organized?
We all dreamed of having a family of our own when we were little. Some of us may have played mom and dad and built a make-believe house. Little did we know that life is going to be tough when we’re not kids anymore. The responsibilities as an adult are sometimes overwhelming that many develop depression.
Right now, I couldn’t say that my life is the way I planned it. I am not a doctor, I don’t have a house of my own, and I don’t have a car. They say we couldn’t have it all. Life is just balanced, and there’s always an aspect of it where you’re going to fail. “No one likes to fail, but some people take it harder than others,” says counselor Monte Drenner. So it should be considered.
I wasn’t able to be a professional because my long-time boyfriend and I decided to get married right after graduation. I couldn’t say no at that time. We were madly in love, and I was afraid that I might lose him if I’d let that moment slip.
We got pregnant on our first year of marriage. We were happy at first, and my husband was doing great at his job. We decided that I’ll stay home and take care of our baby, so basically, I became a housewife for ten years now. I was enjoying what I was doing until life got a little harder. His salary could not sustain all our needs, so we had to downgrade our lifestyle. Now I understand Elizabeth Scott, MS, a wellness coach when she said, “Although any stress can take a toll on your health, stress related to financial issues can be especially toxic.”
I couldn’t say we’re struggling so hard in life, but I wish we were able to prepare, so we wouldn’t have to go through all the hardships right now. If only I could talk to the 20-year-old me and tell her all the things I know now.
If Given A Chance, This Is What The 30-Year-Old Me Would Say To My 10-Year-Younger Self:
- Set Your Goals For Yourself
Yes, you have a partner, but you two are different individuals. He has his own life, and you have yours. It’s okay to plan together, but make sure that you have goals for yourself. You want to be a doctor, right? Go for it! Never give up your ambitions just because of your feeling at the moment. If he loves you, he’ll wait for you no matter how long. You’ll have a lifetime together, so a few years for yourself is not too much to ask.
- Dream Big
Always aim for the biggest. Don’t settle for what you think you can achieve. Strive for the things that challenge you. They will make you grow as an individual. You will never get better if you always stay in your comfort zone. Think great of yourself instead of limiting the things you can do. You know what you want, and that’s the most important thing. Never lose focus until you get it. Know that everything that comes between you and your dreams is a distraction.
- Take It Easy With Love
- Don’t rush love. Yes, it is a magical feeling, but it can spellbind you to move away from your dreams.
- True love is never selfish, so you should both want what’s best for the other, and that’s to see the both of you grow individually.
- True love is patient, so take it easy. If it’s true love, you’ll have a whole lifetime to spend together. Use your time in nurturing yourself as an individual so that you’ll be able to give more. You can’t give what you don’t have.
- Secure Your Future
Being ambitious is okay. Be idealistic and buy yourself a house and a car; make sure you have savings and a second source of income. It doesn’t hurt to be ready for the future but being unprepared does.
- Be Happy With Yourself
- Make a bucket list of the things you want to accomplish before turning 28.
- Make a list of the countries you want to visit before you settle down.
- Try different cuisines.
- Get a tattoo if you wish.
- Dare yourself to live on the edge sometimes.
Do all the things that make you happy. Be someone who makes you happy, so you won’t go finding it from anyone else. Note that “Authentic happiness is relating to the entire universe. When someone relates and leaves nothing out, you can see it in the face and posture. There is a presence about a truly happy person, a look that says “Yes,” to oneself, to others, and to the world.” Andrea F. Polard, PsyD said.
I wish I knew these things when I was younger. Things could have gone differently. Maybe we would be happier, perhaps not. Still, there’s still a difference in settling down ready. Life has a lesser chance of catching you off-guard.
I know I can’t bring back the past, and it’s not possible that the 20-year-old me could know this, and even though I know there’s nothing I can do about what’s happened ten years ago, I could still do something now. I am my present self who knows better, and this time, I’ll make sure the 40-year-old me won’t have to do this all over again.
Being in a relationship for an extended period of time can teach you a lot of things. From understanding the value of love and finding the essence of your self-worth, everything is undeniably in control. However, since there are relationships that require an end, you will eventually feel the need for letting go and being able to develop some beneficial qualities for yourself and become a better person.
The impact of bullying, be it in the school, the internet or within the family, has significantly compromised the mental health of children involved in bullying. Experiencing violence and humiliation at a very young age is something genuinely undesirable, but because of bullying, children had to go through the emotional and physical pain that will forever be etched in their minds and will be part of their lives.
It’s entirely normal for a relationship to go through several rough times and it practically happens to a lot of people who are in a long-term commitment. However, it’s a different story when you realize that you are no longer happy and thoroughly committed to the kind of connection you have. It is where you feel the lack of intimacy that somehow drags you down. So how would you know if you’re still into him? Here are some signs that can answer that question.
Face it. People will have a lot to say when you are trying to push your limits and do things on your own. Most of them assume that you can never make it because you don’t have enough guts to work your way to the top. Sadly, these people are often the ones you offer and spend your life with. These individuals judge you, mock you, and break down your spirit. Why? That is because they do not want you to succeed.
Sometimes your best is not often enough to convince people to support you. That is because it is either they can never benefit from your achievements, or they don’t feel like living behind your success. But the truth is, these people only want to be like you but just can’t. BetterHelp identifies these individuals as “toxic.” They do not want you to succeed because they know you are capable of becoming one. They do not want to see you living your life to the fullest because they want it too. They desire it too much, but they know they are incapable of doing so. With that, you need to understand that “Research shows that how you think about yourself can have a powerful effect on how you feel. Practice using words that promote feelings of self-worth and personal power. Give yourself a positive pep-talk.” That’s according to Dr. Aaron Kaplan, PsyD, Clinical Psychologist.
Most of the time, you hear them complain about their lives. And when you don’t care, they marked you as a selfish, uncaring, and inconsiderate human. But is that your problem? Of course, not. Honestly, you do not have to care about them when they don’t take a minute to appreciate all your efforts towards reaching your goal. It is not your mistake for being motivated in creating something for your future. It is these people’s fault why they are still miserable and unfortunate. “Look at negative thoughts like reruns of a TV show you’ve seen a million times. Let them play in the background while you shift your focus to something else.” Jo Eckler, PsyD suggests.
Cut To The Chase
Your life and success are yours alone. These people who stick around when you are on top are parasites. You need to get them off your system and block their every entrance in your life. Do not feel sorry for their sad lives because they deserve it. They choose not to do anything with their situation, so it is not your obligation to pull them out of the pit. Listen to yourself. You know better. Value the things you can do and never allow these people to rip you into pieces.
Your goals are the things that matter. “People with a healthy self-esteem tend to view failure as an event. People with low self-esteem often view failure as fatal. This thought process pummels one’s self-esteem and overtime being a failure becomes their identity.” counselor Monte Drenner said. People might never agree with your ways, but it is not your entire problem. Let them take care of themselves and do not wish for them to get involved with your success. Because if you do that, these ungrateful people will take everything from you until you have nothing left. So instead of trying your best for them, work things out for yourself. Focus on what you can achieve and become more and more successful. Because once you are on top, these people will soon crawl back up. Trust me. These parasites live for their benefits.
You don’t get to be where you are without hardships and sacrifices. Being successful is a choice, and it takes a lot of hard work. When you allow people to pull you down, you will never achieve anything. And even if you think you are capable of doing everything, when you enable these losers to control you, you will fail and will hit the ground ten times harder.