Deciding whether or not we should stay or leave a relationship is a crucial process. Sometimes, we often think about it as something that could change our lives forever. Though our choices matter, we seldom see the value of things around us because we want to validate our reasons for staying or leaving a relationship. Most times, we essentially think about the kind of relationship we have is something normal in a sexual and psychological aspect that follows a regular pattern and affects our decision-making.
The determining factors of our breaking point in leaving or staying in a relationship are our exposure to different kinds of people that influence us. It can be friends, family, or someone we just met. The degree of the information we gather from people that surround us can either be useful or damaging at some point. We might encounter someone that can help us create meaningful choices in life, and there are those who influence us to do things we know we shouldn’t.
Knowing Your Reasons
Leaving a relationship is made possible for several reasons. There’s the act of cheating, indifferences, behavioral changes, bad habits, all sorts of abuse, and psychological dysfunction. Brandy Parris, MA, LMHC notes that “Being in an abusive relationship is incredibly confusing, and multiple myths about abuse can make it difficult to identify when it happens to you.” However, your relationship is not limited to some particular undefined reasons. You fall out of love, or maybe you realize that your partner is no longer the center of your happiness. Whatever it is, it will somehow validate your desire to end a relationship.
On the other hand, choosing to stay in a relationship has a weighing point. Your reasons could be because you are forced to stay, or you just don’t have enough reasons to leave. Both reasons also have their factors, like for example, you love the person so much that you can afford to lose yourself or you’re hooked on the idea of being in love. In all honesty, even if you decide to take the risk and stay in a relationship that damages you, you will still end up repeating the cycle all over again. We don’t want to feel alone that’s why it somehow terrifies us to know that our relationship is nearing an end. “If emotions become heightened, it’s a good idea to implement a safe word prior to the discussion which indicates that one of the partners needs to take a break,” says Michelle Smith, LMHC
In fairness, not all toxic relationships stay the same. Sometimes, when a realization hits you and your partner, you tend to become more mature and responsible for your actions and decisions. You may consider existential loneliness at some point, but it will not stop you from changing and adapting to positive things. However, not all couples can quickly turn everything in their favor. Sometimes they have to undergo several assessments to know if they are capable of keeping a relationship or they are better off alone.
From the experiences we have within our different types of commitment, we learn to value things not only for our sake. We also make sure that our partners can benefit as well. A toxic relationship is not a system that measures our capabilities in handling ourselves whenever we are in a commitment. Once the connection loses its value, the only thing to do is get out of it before it even breaks you into pieces. Never forget to “Give yourself time to heal. We can be harder on ourselves than on any other person. Realize that fully overcoming the issues you had to face during your relationship may take time, and that’s OKAY.” A reminder from Heather Edwards LMHC, NCC, BCC